Monday, October 3, 2016

Winning the Battle

Good Monday morning!  Winning the battle of raising kids starts at day one.  (Today, we have 8 FREE offerings for you.  Feel free to use them to make cards or use in your scrap booking.)

I’m doing my blog a little different today.  I’m using my graphics to talk about the raising of my kids.

I raised three children who have turned into fantastic adults.  (With their dad, there were times it felt like four.)

Raising children starts at day one.  Along with all the love and care you feel and have for them comes a need to also protect them.  Right now, you may be protecting them from themselves, but one day, it will be necessary for them to control themselves properly to keep out of jail or threatening situations.  It like building a warranty to ward off future problems.

Besides, I grew up the 50’s and 60’s, and people were so much nicer.  Most parents taught the same rules and even spanked.  Very few people actually BEAT their children, and spanking was just a spanking.

Some say that spanking makes kids more violent.  But when I grew up and we were spanked, everyone was nicer.  Today it’s wrong to spank, and look at all the violence in schools, at work, at nightclubs, and even at home.  That speaks volumes to me.

If we spanked, (we did not beat them),  when they were very young, they learned that doing something when we said no brought a smack on the hand or butt.  They learned to hear and listen to the word NO.  This started when they began reaching for things they shouldn’t (walking age).

By the time, they were 4 and 5, we spanked less.  Over the years, it grew more distant, but even I had one or two spankings in my teens.  It was always positive reinforcement.

My kids dad didn’t  like to discipline.  He did here and there, but more often than not, he left that duty in my corner.  He rose to the occasion if it became serious!

My grown children are still my children, and they are also my friends.  But friendship only comes once they are grown.  By then, they understand that you loved them, so you prepared them for their future.

I also let my kids have their feelings, and even say “I hate you!”.  That was fine.  We all have those feelings.  Why should they be any different?  I knew they didn’t mean it.  They were just angry.

Also, if they wanted to continue to be negative, they could do that in their room.  When they were ready to rejoin the family, all they had to do was come back downstairs and be respectful.

I am a small adult.  I am 5 feet 2 inches, and very petite.  Even though I was the eldest of three girls, I was the smallest.  I babysat in my teen years, and I came from a strict upbringing.  Most parents had pretty firms rules, and most kids grew up respectful and responsible.

If I got in trouble at school, there was more of that waiting for me at home.

When I had my first son, I knew I would have to set it up so that he understood that I was in charge because it was only a matter of time before he’d be bigger than me.  I was loving, but the rules were always firm, and they suffered the consequences for any disobedience.

My middle son babysat for some kids we knew, and one day he saw the mom chasing her kid around the yard.  He had done something wrong, and also dangerous.  She never caught him, and eventually gave up.  No punishment ensued.

I didn’t chase my kids around the yard. By the time they were old enough to walk, they already knew to come to me when I called them.

When my son came home, he told me about it and then asked me, “Doesn’t Sally love Brad?”

Even a teen had figured that out.  He couldn’t believe that she would let him take such dangerous chances.

After all, we’ve all heard it:  What you allow is what they will continue to do.  Right into adulthood!  If they DON'T respect you, they won’t respect anybody else.

I learned from my own parents and used the same methods when I became a parent.  I always said, “If I have to get up, I am coming over there, and you’re going to get spanked.”  And when I said it, I meant it; just like my parents did.  This was a no brainer!

One son was a particular challenge.   I think being the middle son, he often felt neglected.  I was always watching the little one, and my older son was more with his dad.  In fact, he often put his folded arm on his dad’s shoulder and leaned on him.  We took to calling him “I LEAN”.

There were times this son got into some more serious trouble than our other two, but we always hung in there.  It could be stressful, but we always loved him no matter what.  He actually went into the air force when he graduated high school as he didn’t know what he was going to do yet, and he was an angry kid, and knew he needed more discipline.  He felt the service would give him that.  It did.  When he got out, he said he enjoyed it, but also didn’t like giving anyone that much control over him.

I loved my children fiercely.  We tried our best to instill that inside the walls of our house, there were NO attacks.  This was the one haven they could come to and trust the others to stand by them.  I know the boys got along better together than with their little sister, but we did stress unity often.  It wasn’t perfect as nothing ever is, but it was IMPORTANT.

There were lots of laughs in our house!  Dad was funny, and loved laughing.  He made us all laugh often.

If you had a candy bar, and he walked into the room, he’d always walk up to you and say, “You owe the dad tax!”  The kids extended the candy for dad to take his “reasonable” bite.  It’s just something I got used to hearing from him.  It was funny though.

With three men in our house, the insanity could get you.  The burping, the farting, the whoopee cushion noises; sometimes it felt nonstop.  I’d say, “Hey guys!  I’m trying to raise a lady here.”  I was referring to my daughter.

“Good luck”, they’d roar and laugh.  We really had some great times.

We also taught justice.  The method we used referred to food.  If two kids wanted the same piece of cake, I’d say, “Okay.  Who's going to divide it?”  They knew to divide it very carefully, because the person who divided it got the last choice!  Believe me.  They all knew how to divide it evenly.

That brings me to end of this writing.

I do have one quick frame for you, so here it is below:

Okay!  That’s it for today’s graphics.  Use them with some pre-made cards and envelopes, and your cards will just take a minute to get together.

Just right click and save to your computer.  All graphics are made by me!

Please take a minute to save and print my card so you know where you got the graphics.  Just add it the folder.  It’s ready to go to send out with the things you made or to share with others who might be interested in picking up the graphics.  Share!  Share!  Share!

I’d appreciate any and all comments.  Please take a moment to leave one below.  And thanks!

Cj @ Grannies Print designs are to help grandparents and grown children reach out to those they love.  Closing the miles equal smiles (on their faces and in their hearts).  Make a connection again by sending a physical card so others will feel the joy of receiving REAL MAIL. Don’t let letter-writing and card-sending wither and die.  Keep it alive with the help of these graphics!  Enjoy!!!

You can also find me on Instagram at cj.hampton.  Thanks.


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